People often ask me how I am doing on this diet, and most of the time I just don't even want to answer because to give a truly honest answer wouldn't be very uplifting. Today is day 60 of the strict phase of the candida diet and it finds me cranky and melancholy. Two months down, how many more to go? I am craving "normal" foods and I am sad over the loss of many of my favorite foods and restaurants. I'm tired of having to make all of my food from scratch using very limited ingredients and I am so very tempted to chuck it all and have a nice, tasty gluten free pizza. (Unfortunately the eggs in the crust, tomatoes, and dairy make that not the best option for me right now.) I have come to the realization that the things I really crave when it comes to food are balance, convenience, and variety.
I crave balance. If I eat something sweet, I crave something salty to balance it out. If all I eat are vegetables, I crave fruit to balance it out. Since nothing that I can eat has any real crunch to it, I crave tortilla chips and crackers. Balance and variety go hand in hand. It is hard to achieve balance when your options are so limited. I also crave convenience. It is very stressful knowing that if I forget my homemade lunch on the kitchen table when I go to work, my options for going out to "grab a bite to eat" are severely limited. I crave the convenience of being able to look up a recipe and not have to wondering if my egg replacer will work or how much agar flakes cost. I crave "normal."
I am worried about the upcoming holidays. Potlucks, holiday parties, and family gatherings are a minefield of danger and deprivation. Or at least that's how it looks from here. I'm so new at this and I don't have a lot of time on my hands to try out these recipes that I find. I know that a gluten-free, Candida Diet approved Thanksgiving dinner is possible, I just don't have the time to figure out how to do it. I'm tired and I'm frustrated and I just want to be done with this diet. I look at all the other bloggers and they are so upbeat and optimistic. Am I the only one who really struggles with this? I guess one difference is I am not trying to sell anything with this blog, so I can afford to be real with how I am feeling and not sugar coat it. I couldn't use sugar anyway, I would have to use Xylitol.
So, in a nut shell, that is how I am doing today. I promise to come back and post something more optimistic and hopeful soon. Reminder to myself: THIS TOO SHALL PASS.