This past weekend I was up north for a women's retreat at church camp I grew up going to. On my way there, I almost turned the car around to go back home because I was so afraid I was either going to be miserable all weekend, I was going to eat something that would make me sick, or both. Ironically, an hour before my mini-crisis, I had called the local Christian station here and offered this as my Friday "I Believe" Statement: "I believe that God is watching over me, protecting me and providing for me, even when my emotions or my circumstances try and tell me otherwise." Lord, I believe- help me in my unbelief! It is astounding how quickly we can forget to trust Him and the promises that he gives us in his Word.
I had been feeling led to give this diet over to God all week, to place it in his hands, but I was fighting to stay in control. But what if, God? What if I the cook misunderstood my recipes, or ingredients, or instructions? "Be still, and know that I am God." But shouldn't I just check to make sure? Wouldn't it be better if I did stay home, then I know what's in my food and don't have to worry about it? "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and don't try to understand everything on your own. In ALL your ways, acknowledge him and he will show you the way to go." But... but... I don't want to. It's too hard. "Do you trust me?" Yes... well, kind of, as long as I can still be in control.... Oh wait, that's not exactly trust is it?
So there was my inner dialog as I drove north on I94, but I kept going and I made it there. And I am so glad I did. I had a great weekend, the food was excellent and well prepared, and God had some great things to say to me. My favorite was this: "This too shall pass. Don't give up, keep on following where I lead you. Trust in Me." This too shall pass.
Another quote from the weekend that really stood out to me was "The Enemy's two favorite words to bring us down are always and never." And that is exactly what Satan has been whispering in my ear, over and over. "You are always going to have to struggle with this diet. You are never going to feel better no matter what you do. It is ALWAYS going to be this difficult." Get behind me Satan! This is only one moment in time, and God will lead me through it. I will stand on His promises and believe in His Truth. To quote Jason Castro, "This is only a mountain. You don't have to find your way around it. Tell it to move it will move, tell it to fall, it will fall. This is only a moment, you don't have to let your fear control it. Tell it to move it will move, tell it to move it will move."